You know the way everyone in the world is saying 50 Shades of Grey is hilariously terrible. Turns out they’re wrong, it’s just terrible. I read the first 50 pages and not once did I laugh. It’s not say bad it’s good, it’s just grating.
Firstly, Anastasia Steele is not a name of a human person unless you are a pro wrestler or a nerdy teenager destined to be bitten by a radioactive steel beam
But alas, that would be too interesting. Instead it’s about a developmentally stunted woman-child, who thinks reading Tess of the d’Urbervilles makes you interesting, constantly wears her roommates clothes, has uncontrollable brown hair, two voices in her head that constantly criticize her, and eyes that are too big for her face. As the latter is introduced as a feature which makes her ugly, I can only assume it is because the rest of her face is completely out of proportion with her head:
Anyway, she mets and equally uninteresting Patrick Bateman pastiche, falls over, talks about Tess of the d’Urbervilles, obsesses about herself until she gets drunk and falls over again, all the while being stalked by the boring Patrick Bateman.
Then this happens:
The first two panels are the actual dialogue, and nicely cap of four chapters that read like a Manga version of Batman in which VIcki Vale tries to figure out Batman’s secret identity through falling over, not understanding how laptops and tea bags work, and just generally acting like a child.
To conclude, Twilight fan fiction is actually less enjoyable than Twilight.